I've definitely had my cleaning head on today - I only intended to do some light hoovering, but I've ended up scrubbing every surface to within an inch of it's life - even the skirting boards - what's wrong with me? Are Kim and Aggie going to pop round unexpectedly, get on their hands and knees and inspect them? Of course bloody not. So why do it? Because I'm one of those OCD types. I can't just do a 'light hoover', or a quick flick round with a duster, oh no, not me. I'm like that with most things (my other half would say everything) "Everything has a place, and there's a place for everything" - that's me, I'm one of 'those' folk. And, it looks as though Violet has started to pick up on my little 'oddities' - she's always watching every little thing that I do and now she has a tendacy to freak out if one of her toys or books is put in a different place - oh dear. Well at least I know she'll always have clean skirting boards in her own home when she's older, which of course makes me happy and proud :0)
Onto other things. My big brother is coming over for lunch tomorrow. Why? To talk to me about my indecision as to whether I'd be doing the right thing in changing Violet's surname to match mine. This has been on my mind alot lately and it's really doing my head in. Everything would have been so much simpler if her dad had spoken to me about his thoughts on marriage before I actually gave birth to her. Then I could have registered her surname as the same as my maiden name. But, seeing as the subject of marriage has only recently reared it's ugly head, I'm now faced with this dilemma. I haven't mentioned this to many people, but so far my aunt doesn't think it's neccessary and that Violet should keep her father's surname. One close friend thinks that I should definitely do it, and after discussing the subject at some length with another close friend earlier this week, we came to the conclusion that it would make me feel alot happier now, but would Violet hate me for it in the future? This has made me stop in my tracks. I wouldn't be changing the name on her birth certificate, so if she truely felt aggreived by it when she got older, she could just start to call herself by her dad's surname again. Oh it's all so complicated. So big brother is popping over tomorrow to give me his two-penneth worth of wisdom aswell.
If anyone does actually read today's blog post, I apologies for all the waffle you've just trawled through.
Why would V hate you for it in the future? Because she'd see it as a slight against her father? Tricky... I suppose you can't possibly know how she might respond. Ultimately it's a meaningless thing for her at the moment, but not for you. Children are very accepting and adaptable I think. And your point about her name not changing on her birth certificate is a good and valid one. Whatever you decide I don't think it should be with a view to how it may or may not make V feel in many years to come (plus she will still have a choice). But then I am biased as I was close to doing this too until the decision to marry was finally crow-barred out of my better half. And I would have too. Although, my plan was to change MY surname to my boyfriends... how would you feel about that without marriage? A possible 3rd way??? x
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a tricky one although I think at the end of the day, it doesn't have to be a permanent thing, it can be changed again if need be and that would be a decision for her to make when she's old enough. My cousin recently changed her surname and she's 25!
ReplyDeleteIt always helps to talk it out with other people though. What does the other half have to say about any of this?
(PS Hurray for being obsessive cleaners!!)
Oooo ladies you've given me alot to think about.
ReplyDeleteI've received various ideas and opinions on the matter and I will now go somewhere quiet and mull it over. It may take me awhile.
Thanks for visiting my blog today and taking the time to leave your comments - they are appreciated :0)
lol don’t apologise that’s what blogs are for!! It must be quite a hard decision… why can’t she have a double barrel name? that’s what I have since my parents never married and it’s fine… only an idea!
ReplyDeleteMy brother thought that the solution to my dilemma was a double barrel surname too. I am warming to this idea and will talk it over with the other half over the weekend. Hopefully, we'll come to an agreement so I can stop boring everyone with it.
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